Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
I can't turn off my feet"
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
