I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Randomize
