If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
He passed out mid-signature
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
Randomize
