it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
it's great music for shaving your balls
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Randomize
