Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
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