I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
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