Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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