I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize
