it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
We need to rekindle our bromance
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
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