At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Randomize
