if you like me you must not know who I am
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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