Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
