but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
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