so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Randomize
