Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
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