I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize
