I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Randomize
