everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
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