I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
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