Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
