you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Randomize
