We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
she pinky promised me she was 18
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
