Barsexuality is the new black.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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