for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Randomize
