Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
Randomize
