halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
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