i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
Randomize
