They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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