i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
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