The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Use "feeling words"
Yay
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
