I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
It's shark week go big or go home
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
