I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
