he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
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