OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
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