You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Randomize
