If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Randomize
