so explain again why im purple
no
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
