I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
