So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
