Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
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