And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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