Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
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