I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Randomize
