i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
