Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
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