I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
God gave him joint rollers for hands
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
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