take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Randomize
