PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Randomize
