butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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