Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
