As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Vodka?
Forever.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
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