it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Randomize
