I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
Randomize
